tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7350279129098359840.post2353324727865659024..comments2011-09-26T13:01:05.630-07:00Comments on random deviations of moral turpitude: "It is most unwise for people in love to marry.” George Bernard ShawKivi Neimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02605853860497570735noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7350279129098359840.post-11165572507171775512011-01-07T22:49:01.944-08:002011-01-07T22:49:01.944-08:00I have to endorse this is very timely as well. Bei...I have to endorse this is very timely as well. Being in a triangle and looking at what's available for me in terms of social approbation...the options are beyond slim. I'm risk of trial and imprisonment in some places...thank Goddess the children are grown.<br /><br />There is a very good book about this written by some poly-friendly or -centric folk. It's called "Sex at Dawn" (being the dawn of civilization, not the wee hours) and it really focuses on your hunter-gatherer to farmer transition and the radical changes the construct of "society" underwent. It's a really good read and I can't recommend it enough. <br /><br />Personally, I think any form of long-term commitment is really good for the soul, provided one enters into it freely and having examined all other options (that whole "mauvaise foi" thing....I'm a fundamentalist existentialist). However, if that's not your bag, bag it. There are other ways of being that, as Jackie said, merit examination. And demand both recognition and respect.<br /><br />Here's another thing to think about....the possibility that polyamory/monogamy is a scale. Check out this read:<br /><br />http://londonfaerie.co.uk/2010/12/poly-scale/<br /><br />Okay, enough response. Ping me! I like this!<br /><br />StevenThe Big Redheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14788546723370776530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7350279129098359840.post-74299951704990467582011-01-06T22:19:44.067-08:002011-01-06T22:19:44.067-08:00Modernly, people still marry and select specific s...Modernly, people still marry and select specific spouses for a wide variety of reasons and purposes. I believe that what were once "arranged marriages" have become individual decisions regarding socioeconomic status, maybe with some added family pressure, but this is now much, much less a cultural practice. Also, modernly, there is still some centuries-old crap within marriage:stereotypical gender roles; power, control, and domination of women. What I find more significant about the purpose of marriage in our times is the pursuit of the "American Dream." Ms or Mr Right, the house, the cars, 2.5 children and a golden retriever. We are socialized that this is the measure of success, and we are taught that such a life will definitely fulfill us and make us happy. I feel that this is the greatest bullshit about modern marriage in our society today.<br />But my friend, there is one place we differ...love and romance a "social myth?" Oh, how I look forward to spending a lifetime with someone magnificent and beautiful; decades of bearing witness to each other's lives; decades of sharing in each other's lives and dreams; decades of history together; decades of getting to know each other more closely and falling more deeply in love; decades of living life and all of its events together; a lifetime of dedicated, loving, nurturing companionship. I do believe its out there, I do believe its real, and sadly,I do know that it is rare....and such a marriage does require casting off all of the social and cultural bullshit surrounding marriage. Marriage must be re-defined, I agree. I'd define it as the committed, devoted, dedicated union of two people lovingly sharing life together - whether for a lifetime, or just for a time. What could be more full of wonderment?<br />Jamie R.Ms. Jamie Romanohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07563245025010403209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7350279129098359840.post-45283118682714208692011-01-06T17:00:15.353-08:002011-01-06T17:00:15.353-08:00It's interesting to me that you posted this bl...It's interesting to me that you posted this blog in that I just had this very same conversation with my brother the professor. I concur with you on all your points and am pleased to hear a voice of good reason. Marriage is fine but society needs to begin redefining it's purpose. There can be many different purposes to it depending on each individual and his/her specific needs and desires.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01062679458822267204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7350279129098359840.post-15835285947522966382011-01-06T16:33:30.370-08:002011-01-06T16:33:30.370-08:00There is a piece that Jane Rule wrote about marria...There is a piece that Jane Rule wrote about marriage which I found to be very thought provoking and worthy of further discussion:<br /><a href="http://www.rbebout.com/getfree/jane.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.rbebout.com/getfree/jane.htm</a>.<br /><br />People find it odd that I'm so adamament about discussing the implications of marriage within the community, even as I am married within California. What I tell them is that if we don't continue the discussion of who marriage leaves out, who it privileges and the *limitations* of those privileges (as in me and/or Shirley are always in danger of someone deciding that they don't have to respect we are), then we as a community are screwed.Jackie G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10105589578063308870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7350279129098359840.post-10519243389752292522011-01-06T11:30:33.039-08:002011-01-06T11:30:33.039-08:00This is a very important conversation. The right&#...This is a very important conversation. The right's insistence that gay marriage is dis-attached from family values is built upon this very myth of marriage. You have done a great job unpacking the historical lineage of marriage in this post. More of these unearthings need to happen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com